Stuck In My Head…

Ever since Jennie Allen’s talk at IF this weekend about going SMALL instead of BIG with spreading God’s truth, there’s been a song stuck in my head by Francesca Battistelli called “He Knows My Name.” I’ve really felt as if God has laid these two specific lines on my people-pleasing soul, and I wondered if these might be lines you need to hear today, too. 
The line says this: “I’m not living for applause. I’m already so adored.”

I touched on this a little bit in Sunday’s post, but here’s why this is so powerful to me. My love language is words of affirmation, and I have a profound fear of rejection. True story – last week, I posted a picture on Facebook that didn’t get but one “like” in the first twenty or so minutes it was up, and I felt myself battling this strange compulsion to take it down because it hadn’t been popular. I actually logged on to my Facebook, was about to hit delete, and then this line came up in my head. I had to take a pause and ask myself why it mattered how many people “liked” my picture. Did I post this because I was seeking approval from my people? What was behind this strange need for affirmation from social media? And again, I heard this line. I’m NOT living for applause…or am I? I found myself stuck on this question. Why do I care so much about how many people think my kids are cute? Is that really what my worth is about?
And then another line came at me like a ton of bricks. It says this: “He calls me chosen, free, forgiven, wanted, child of the King.” 

And that was my checkmate. 
He calls me WANTED. 
He calls me CHOSEN. 
He calls me DAUGHTER. 
That’s the affirmation I need, not the affirmation of strangers on the internet. God has NEVER rejected me because he CHOSE me. I don’t need to fear isolation because God WANTS me in His kingdom. He calls me by name and adores me…no matter what my “platform” or Instagram following says.

I have nothing to prove.

I left that picture up. (In case you’re on pins and needles, my picture eventually DID get about 50 likes…but that’s beside the point. Ha!) What the world says about me or what my social media account says about me matters exactly NONE to the One who gives me my true identity.

I’m so thankful for the reminder Jennie Allen passed along at IF and the song that God has purposefully had stuck in my head ever since. I needed to hear it, and I need to remind myself daily that HE is the only one who knows my true heart…and he ADORES IT. 
And you know what? He adores YOURS, too.    

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