So, it’s been a while. I was leaving a much needed girls’ night tonight when a friend commented on how she loved reading my blog, and it dawned on me I hadn’t posted a single thing this whole month.
I’ll give it to you straight. It’s not you, it’s me.
This whole working-mom-with-kids-in-school-during-the-holidays thing has absolutely kicked my tail. Christmas programs, pajama parties (why? why?), and every type of “exchange” you can possibly participate in have ruled us these last ten days. And there are still two more weeks until Christmas! Eeek! I was
complaining chatting with a friend the other day about the craziness of this month, and she smiled at me and said, “Just wait until you have three!”
So, on that front, I haven’t posted much lately because we are in one of many waiting periods. For those of you who read my little blog here primarily for the adoption journey, there will be lots of lulls. Long ones. Because there is a lot of waiting in adoption. Some of the waiting is due to things that are in our control, but the majority of the waiting is due to things that are totally outside of our control. Right now, we are waiting on our 797 (immigration) approval from the Department of Homeland Security. Great timing on our part, huh? I’m not sure our immigration approval is real high on their priority list at this point…because, you know, ISIS and all. Our agency says a typical approval takes roughly 90 days, but I’m not sure they took into account the whole global terrorism situation we are dealing with when sharing that estimate with me. I’m hopeful that we will get our approval by the end of January and get our dossier to China in February, but time will tell.
People ask us constantly, “What is going on with your adoption?” It’s hard to keep saying that we are simply waiting for more approvals, but that’s the reality of adoption. It’s just a long process with lots of i’s to dot and t’s to cross. Inter-country adoption takes even longer because there are two government entities that both have to approve the adoption, so, here we are, just waiting. The waiting is hard and frustrating at times, especially for a control freak like me, but it’s refining at the same time. I’m learning to trust that God’s timing is better than my own, and I am doing my best to enjoy the goodness of this holiday season with my two biological kiddos.
It’s a strange thing that happens to your heart, though, when you know you have a child waiting for you on the other side of the world. There is a baby that I’ve never seen, never touched, and haven’t named yet that will one day soon call me “mommy.” It’s hard to focus on the here and now with that kind of realization weighing on me. I find myself wondering what he’s doing at various points in the day. Is he asleep? Is he crying? Is someone comforting him? Is he walking yet? How many hugs and kisses has he received today?
Those unknowns are part of this process. Part of the waiting.
So, we wait. We pray that our child is covered in hugs and kisses and love every day, and we do our best to focus on Carter and Kate. As hard as it is to be present with so much going on, they need that. They deserve it. So, we load up for another trip to Hobby Lobby for, yes, another ornament exchange, we buy ANOTHER glittery reindeer, put another marker on the advent tree, and we continue to wait.
If you find yourself in a “waiting” period like us, I want to encourage you to focus on the present. Maybe you’re waiting for that positive pregnancy test or waiting for your baby to finally outgrow the colic or waiting on that job offer that would better provide for your family. Whatever “waiting” period you find yourself in, just remember that you are in a season. And seasons change. The beauty of spring always breaks after a tough winter…but the winter is necessary. Hard, but necessary.
“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven…” Ecc 3:1
That is December.